so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
