i may or may not be watching the land before time
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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