I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
