Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
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finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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