her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
