a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
