Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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