it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Are we still banned from the library?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
