We won't sleep together?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a fireplace last night.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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