Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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