so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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