There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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