I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
