So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
