I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
