I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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