This girl is more easily done than said...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
