my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
