did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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