Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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