oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
