whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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