Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I believe in your delicious
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
