I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
