isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
