you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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