I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
