chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
