Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
