i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
