I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
