You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
