no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
