Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
