Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
