His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
