btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
