well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
