Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
