The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
