I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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