$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
