i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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