No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
