I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
