I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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