He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
