No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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