Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
