so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
