She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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