i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
