Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm jealous of your bromance
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
