Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
