Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Let's get the cat blown out
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
