then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
