yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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