I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
